If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
