friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
