Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize