i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
