Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
