I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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