I like to think it a success when the cops are called
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
