I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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