I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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