what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
