you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
