Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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