I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
