i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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