i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
