Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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