I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
