Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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