I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
