VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
