I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
