Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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