How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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