Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
