how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
