What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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