girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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