she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
