how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
