she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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