How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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