Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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