Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
only if we run a train.
done.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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