he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think my vagina is haunted
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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