i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The uberlube is also flammable
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
