so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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