I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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