that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
