I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
