Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
