Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
