talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
