when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize