Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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