she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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