I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize