wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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