I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
