Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
