i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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