woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize