we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
