Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
