we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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