I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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