apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There r osticjed everywhere
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think your dad took our porno
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
