maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
