Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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