i permit you to call me
She said her name was "party"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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