Four minutes until I can fart!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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