P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
