She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm at about main and main street
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
