Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
