I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
