She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
