you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
